Twin Girls Part 1: The Pregnancy

The question is... where to even begin? So many people have messaged me wanting to know exactly what happened. I am now ready to tell my story. I don't want everyone to read a HUGE long post so I will make it into parts.

Part 1: The Pregnancy
Everyone's number one question was did I know before hand my Hazel would die? No.....no I didn't.

If any of you follow me you know that I had such a hard time getting pregnant. So to find out that I was expecting twins was the best feeling ever. To top it off I got exactly what I wanted. TWIN GIRLS! At 6 weeks we noticed that Twin B was a couple days behind Twin A. The doctors said it was completely normal since they were fraternal twins and that she was most likely conceived a couple days later. After that ultrasound we decided to name our girls. Twin A would be Parley Fay Amon and Twin B would be Hazel Emery Amon. I had a great pregnancy so far and started to show right away.

 At week 19 we went in for the routine Anatomy ultrasound where they do a detailed look at both babies and make sure everything is OK. It took 2 hours long. The ultrasound tech couldn't get a good look at their little bodies because everything was so squished. She didn't say anything to us and acted like everything went well. The next day I got a call from the doctor (at this time we were at a regular OB). He told us that Parley looked amazing and that she was growing perfectly. Hazel was A LOT smaller and they couldn't get a very good shot at her heart and nasal bone. He told us not to worry and that she could be just fine but they needed to get a better view. Of course the first thing I did when I got off the phone was look these symptoms up on the Internet. I googled both heart defect and no nasal bone together and came up with Down Syndrome. I work with special needs; I have my whole life. Heck one of my best friends Brynn Perkins has downs. I knew I could be a great mother to a child with special needs and wasn't upset like I would suspect most people would be. But lets be real for a second. No one wishes upon their child to have certain handicaps. We all expect our babies and children to be happy and healthy and live full long lives. I had my twin girls lives all planned out and dreamt about their first birthdays together, going to Disneyland, beach trips and for the girls to ALWAYS no matter what have a best friend for life. I tried not to think about Hazel having something wrong with her and tried to stay positive.

 Hazel and Parley

The next week we were sent into a high risk specialist. We had a level 2 ultrasound done. This time we were at the office for five hours. Three hours into the ultrasound we had been seen by 3 ultrasound techs, 2 Ob's, and 1 genetics counselor. They confirmed that Hazel had a heart defect and no nasal bone. They also told us that her hands were in a clenching position. By this time my hands were shaking and I was crying. Then they had to go and tell me that my cervix was shortening. Most women's cervix's during pregnancy should be about 4cm until they are ready to deliver. They couldn't even measure my cervix because it was barely there and I was only 23 weeks along for heaven sakes! Mine was barely measured at 6mm. They immediately put me on bed rest.  They informed me that Hazel might just be a normal baby with a small nose and a heart defect or she could have a trisomy. They explained to me that there are three main trisomys which are 13,18, and 21.This means they have an exra chromosome. Trisomy 13 and 18 are not compatible with life and usually are still borns or miscarriages. Trisomy 21 is down syndrome. The very next day I was sent to the geneticist. He told me all about genetics and chromosomes. He then asked me if I wanted a amnio done where they stick a needle inside my belly to get amniotic fluid then test it to see if they have any defects. Amnios are very risky especially being 23 weeks along. I decided not to have one done. I didn't want to risk losing both of my babies that I waited so long to have and I knew if my baby had special needs I would love her anyway. Although I didn't get an amnio I did decide to get a test done that takes my blood and checks for trisomy's in the babies. The test is not one hundred percent accurate but I decided on it anyway to give me some peace of mind. I got my results two weeks later. The geneticist told me good news and that the test came back negative. I knew it wasn't one hundred percent accurate but I prayed every night that she didn't have one. I even prayed that she had down syndrome. I honestly really didn't think Hazel had a trisomy or that she would die. None of us did.

 My little Hazel

 At week 26 I went in every two weeks to see a children's cardiologist (fetal heart doctor). Those appointments would take hours long in horribly uncomfortable positions to get good looks at Hazels heart. They found out that Hazel had a heart condition called Tetralogy of Fallot. Basically a big whole in her heart. Because she had this she would need heart surgery 6-9 months after birth. At 27 weeks we went in for our weekly ultrasound appointments. I was now switched over to PPA (high risk pregnancy office). I had a normal ultrasound done and found out that Hazel was a pound smaller than Parley and was then scheduled for NST's (Non stress tests) 2 times a week. This is where they hook me up to a machine to monitor the babies movements. Each time I went in Hazel would fail her test and we would have to do an ultrasound that day too.

 Non stress tests.....boo!

 Over my whole pregnancy I had about 50 ultrasounds done. I cannot complain about ALL my visits because I got to see my babies ALL the time. Most moms die to see there babies and only get a few done their whole pregnancy. Having so many ultrasounds really bonded me to my babies especially Hazel since they mostly revolved around her. I think Parley laid low and let Hazel have most of the attention because she knew I needed those special months of feeling her inside me. Hazel was so stubborn during her earlier ultrasounds. She was such a wiggle worm and the doctors always commented on how much she moved while Parley would just hang out. By week 27 my belly was measuring 51 weeks pregnant and I was completely miserable. I wasn't allowed to do anything. I had nothing holding my babies in. If I HAD to go anywhere someone had to drive me and then wheel chair me to my destination. It felt like they were going to fall out at any minute. But I HAD to keep them in. I couldn't lose them both. Our goal was to get me to at least 30 weeks for the babies to be alive when we delivered. Parley, Mommy's laid back baby, was really low and loved kicking my bladder. And Hazel, Mommy's little stinker, was way up in my ribs. I'm surprised she never broke them. There is nothing better than to feel not one but two miracles inside of you! By week thirty I was depressed. I never felt more alone in my entire life. I was worried every second when Ethan was at work that I would go into labor and lose my babies. My family had a lot going on around that time with other serious family matters so I never really had any visitors. I just laid on the couch or bed only getting up to pee and fix me small meals that wouldn't keep me on my feet for too long. Week 30, 31, and 32 came and went. Hallelujah my little Hazel and my cervix made it past 30 weeks! At week 33 we went in for what would be my last doctors appointment.....

 to be continued..... :)