Twin Girls Part 2: The Delivery

So like I said... at 33 weeks we went in for my normal NST. Once again Hazel failed so I went into another room for our ultrasound. Usually Hazel passes the ultrasound by either moving or hiccuping in a certain amount of time. We waited and waited for Hazel to do SOMETHING but she never did. Jen Mallet, our good friend and ultrasound tech, went and talked to the doctor and they decided to send us to the hospital. As soon as I got into the car anxiety hit me hard. This isn't how its supposed to go! I'm not ready. I'm only 33 weeks. I am supposed to wake up in bed at 40 weeks with my water breaking or having contractions like every other pregnant lady out there. I'm supposed to be happy to be going to the hospital and meeting my babies! I wanted to get to at least 36 weeks. Hazel is still too small! What if she doesn't make it? What if they both don't make it? I cant lose my babies! These feelings were horrible. I just wanted to curl up in a little ball and stay like that until things were supposed to happen the normal way; but I couldn't. Hazel needed me to be strong. She was fighting for her life. She had been since she was conceived. So I wiped away my tears and Ethan and I were off to Banner Desert.

 We got to the hospital and checked into triage. They got me changed, hooked up, and started monitoring the babies heart rates. The doctors told me that they were most likely going to keep me for observation and see what Hazel decided to do. A little while later my parents showed up and sat with me. About an hour into monitoring I randomly started contracting. I guess the babies knew I was in the hospital and decided they wanted to come. The contractions got to be a minute apart and it hurt like no ones business. The nurse came in and was shocked. We were only supposed to be monitoring the babies but instead I was going into labor! She checked my cervix and at 33 weeks I was 100% effaced and 4-5cm dilated. WHAT? This was not happening. The doctors were shocked and immediately put me on a new bed and took me up to a new room.

 They got me hooked up to IV's and pumped me FULL of magnesium to stop the contractions. It didnt really work. I was in that room with contractions getting steroid shots for the babies lungs for two whole days. The magnesium made me extremely sick, tired, and loopy. I was not able to eat or drink anything. I got no sleep since the nurse had to come in every two minutes to check on the babies. The only thing that I can really recall was my whole family coming into visit me. I remember my husband, my brothers and my dad surrounding me to give me a blessing. It was beautiful. Thursday morning at 5am I had a couple of BIG contractions and with each contraction Hazels heart rate went down. At 6am they told me to call my parents because they were taking me into an emergency c-section. I was in shock. I had no choice. The magnesium made me feel drunk. I could barely talk. It was horrible.

 My whole body was shaking uncontrollably. I was scared out of my mind. Once I sat on the surgical table I knew I was in good hands. The nurses were the nicest I have ever met. Since it was an emergency c-section I didn't know any of the doctors but I have never felt more OK in my whole life. They stroked my arms. They stroked my hair. Two full sets of NICU nurses all came and hugged me. Everyone was there for my babies. I could have cared less about myself. I just wanted my babies to be alive. I remember thinking over and over in my head "please be alive, please be alive, please make it." I got my epidural and then we began.

Ethan got to stand and watch over the curtain. He loved it. I could feel the pressure of them pulling the babies out. First came my perfect Parley Fay. 4lbs 5oz and 18in long. The NICU nurses quickly grabbed her and slightly showed me her face as they ran her back behind me to the incubators. A minute later came my brave Hazel Emery. 2lbs 5oz and 14in long. They didn't even allow me to see her since she wasn't breathing. They suctioned her nose and mouth out which didn't help so they had to put a breathing tube down her throat. Ethan said as soon as they put the tube down her little throat she opened her eyes (Ethan was able to capture that tiny moment of her opening her eyes for the very first time. Picture below). Yes, I missed the chance of having them lay big healthy babies on my chest and letting me hold them and kiss them. But in that moment I was the happiest I have ever been. I made my sweet husband leave my side to go be with them. The happiest moment of my life some people might not understand. I was laying there on the table with the surgeons sewing me up. MY BABIES WERE ALIVE! Nothing in the world mattered except that. They looked like babies. Yes they were tiny but they were living and breathing and I have never felt that much joy. They were alive and I was going to have them forever! Right before they were about to leave and move up to the NICU they brought Parley and Hazel over to me so I could meet them for the first time and touch their little faces. I had never seen faces as tiny as theirs but they were all mine and they were perfect.

 Parley Fay Amon

 Hazel Emery Amon

They took me to the quiet reovery room for me to rest. Ethan was up in the NICU with the babies. My mom and dad also got to go up and meet them. I was so jealous. Everyone was looking and touching the girls while I laid there with my thoughts. My mom then came down to be with me. My mom told me of the special moment she had with Hazel. We were both in tears. We didn't think she had trisomy 18 by the way she looked but then again we didn't know too much about it. Later on that week we would look up symptoms and notice little by little that she had indicators of T18. Her small placenta in the womb. Her tiny but beautiful clenched fingers. Her little rocker bottom feet. Her poor little lungs and heart. But we wouldn't really know for sure until they ordered her blood labs that would come back on that Monday. So we didn't worry or think about it. We just wanted those days with her to be happy and filled with love and memories. On the way to my new hospital room the doctor wheeled my bed up to the NICU so that I could get one last glimpse at them before sleeping my life away. It broke my heart. I wasnt allowed to touch them. They were confined in their incubators hooked up to wires and tubes. My little hazel had a respirator in her mouth helping her breathe. It was so hard. But they were ALIVE and I was so grateful...

to be continued :)